Im sick of seeing successful people.

I see how dumb they are, if they can do it, I can do it. It makes me angry.

I have slowed down.

My pace has started to crawl. Blackhat isnt working as well, it has been slow for almost 8 weeks. Media buying keeps throwing me a wrench, I cant get it in line so I have slowed down.

Again, I keep trying to get perspective, but I think that is wrong, I just need to keep doing.

Im tired of starting over and over again so I need to stop quitting.

My Best Friend

One of my oldest and best friends passed away 8-1-15 he was 40. Likely an aneurysm, but he did a lot of drugs so from my perspective that could have been a factor.

I have been a bit lost ever since, I guess mourning is what they call it. I have been invited to an event for friends but Im not going. I dont want to deal with his loss like that. I have my memories and that is all I will ever have of him. I dont need to get together with friends and cry it out.

Tommy and I spent many hours playing world of Warcraft, making music, talking about life... taking LSD together, smoking weed, getting drunk, hitting on girls. I was the person that he called when his mom passed away. I was always there for him when he needed me. A few months ago, I went to visit him and his roomate another great friend of mine. I posted about it here in this entry. I made my efforts, but they just didnt hear me. Was I too late? Did I say the wrong things? Some people need to help themselves.

The world is dark, and full of wonder. It can be hard to navigate, it can be harder to make connections with people. Saying the right thing can change someones life.

Tommy will be missed by me forever.