Oh that feeling.

Im posting more often lately. I guess I just have more to say, or maybe I have less to say to other people and more thoughts to blog about.

I have everything I have ever asked for, a wonderful partner, an intelligent healthy child, I really love where I am at in my life right now. . .with one exception, I do not have any income. I have literally made nothing this month, this has been the worst month for me in a very very long time.

I have been selling this product, it sells well, the top sellers create 30 or 40 sales a week. I struggle with just 4 or 5. They do not tell me how they sell, they will not reveal anything. But many people make top sellers with the company, In a month I will see 5 or 6 different top seller names.

I should be able to make 20 sales right? Thats half of what the top salesperson does...and that is what I told myself 3 months ago when I set out to do this. 20 sales a week, it still hasnt happened. I did pull off 14 sales on week but it really seems liked pure luck that it happened.

I really need to get away from blackhat, but anything else seems to take money, money that I dont have. I just feel like Im in this downward spiral. As I said earlier, I have everything that I want so I feel like I have a lot to loose. It is a horrible feeling....

I have been an affiliate for more than 6 years.

I have failed too much, failed my family, my child, my home, my legacy.  I have everything that I have ever wanted, and I am setting my self up to loose it. It is a terrible feeling, I dont know what to do, my confidence has never been lower.