I have almost given up.

Since granny ended up in the hospital I have lost my momentum.   I did work last night with a reasonable bit of success.  But it wasn't enough to pay my bills.  I cannot focus, I cannot sit down to work like I need to.  I have an hour here or an hour there I cannot make those hours count.  Work takes a lot of hours, I need 3 or 4 hours at a time to make real impact.

I guess not being able to focus is a problem that along with my home life feeling out of whack.  I don't feel in control. I wake up to screaming and sometimes barking, messes to clean up, a wife telling me that I slept too late again. I cannot help it , I'm just so tired ....

Then the chaos of getting breakfast or getting ready to go.  I feel so distracted that I cannot seem to focus on work.  I just spend my time focusing on escaping...I don't understand myself.  I feel trapped and uncertain.

I feel like I would be happier with a job, a place to go where I was required to do tasks.  A place that I had an excuse to go to.  I guess I can start that with work now.  I just get up and go to Starbucks no questions asked, but just a few hours there doesn't feel like enough.  I am just making excuses maybe?


I was ok a month ago doing 35 sales a week wasn't that hard.  Same situation too, I have changed I guess, but how? Does it matter how? I guess not.

Planning for the future.

For every minute that I do not take action is a minute that I do not get to live my dreams.

Every minute that I do not take action is a minute that I have not planned for the future.

Every minute that I do not work is a minute that I worry.

Crap

I was doing so good, I was building my consistent drive. I was getting better at my tasks then I had a very stressful week with personal events that has thrown everything off. I didn't work this week, not at all, as a matter of fact it has been eight days since I have done anything.

THIS IS NOT BUILDING MY FUTURE

I do not set goals since I can never seem to hit even the most modest ones. I do not understand how other people in the company hit such consistent numbers week after week after week.

The stress has been almost overwhelming, I dont even  know what I did Wednesday and Thursday last week.

Failure

Today has been pretty rough. Yesterday I did my regular thing, worked, pushed leads through the conversion funnel and nothing happened. Not a single sale out of something like 45 leads.

So ok, I will start with a new day today right? My ads do not go up, sales chats are pissing me off...so now I have not done any work for almost two hours. I guess that is better than not doing anything for two days so I think I am making real progress. . .

A day worked without profit is not a day wasted.